三十而已

在三十岁的这一年看了这部戏，给了我很大的感触。如果你还没看这部戏而且想看的话，请跳过这一段。。。戏里有三个角色。漫妮 - 离乡到城市里奋斗，让我想起了自己在外地的日子。顾佳 - 看到最爽的那一幕就是当一位太太欺负她儿子的时候，她打了她一顿。所以别欺负妈妈的孩子。你无法想象当妈妈要保护自己孩子的时候是什么事都做得出。晓芹 - 她这场婚姻提醒了我们夫妻之间沟通是很重要的。不能自以为很了解对方，或为了要面子，不敢跟对方说出自己面对什么问题。

昨天刚满三十，自己在想我成就了什么。最大的成就就是结了婚，生了孩子，有一份好的工作。几年前有个愿望，三十岁要当老板。可是今天我还坐在这里帮人家打工。也不知道我会不会有当老板的一天。也许三十五岁？还是四十岁？

今年是个很特别的一年。几乎一整年都带着口罩度过的。有些人过得很好，而有一些过得不太好。我又过得怎么样呢？有好有坏吧。也不懂是不是年纪越大越是面对很多离世的消息。先是我家公，后来是我大伯，而最近是老公的外公。都发生的很突然，又是疫情的期间，我带着孩子无法回去。老公也只能自己回去家公的丧礼。心情好复杂。在他们最困难的期间无法给予陪伴。希望这疫情赶快过去，让我们可以回到正常生活，能够回去陪伴我们的家人。

感谢主这期间也有好消息。在公司做了五年。终于升职了。感谢老公的爱，老公的鼓励与支持，时常提醒我要对自己有信心。也感恩我们能够找到一间属于自己的房子。顺利的话过几个月终于可以有自己的窝了。不需要再寄人篱下。不需要再看各种屋主的脸色。在客厅我要怎么坐，怎么睡都没有人可以阻止。也不需要在家里还要忙着看着孩子不要弄破屋主的东西。等不及要过这样的生活了。忍耐多几个月。

孩子两岁了，进入了别人所说的 Terrible Two。现在出去不能很安静的逛街。也不能很安静的吃一顿饭。一下子弄脏要清理，一下子吵着想要一些东西，不给他的话，想要拉他走，他却站在原地不肯动。继续拉他，他就坐在地上，或躺下去。跟他解释什么都不听。唯有硬硬抱他起来，他却扭来扭去。头痛。求神让我们有耐心。

所以三十岁了。接下来是什么。继续期待。。。

1+1=1

6 years and 10 months of perseverance has finally paid off with a certificate signed on 12 September 2016. It has been quite a long journey. Throughout the university student life, we were able to meet each other every day. After the 3 years of carefree life, distance started to challenge us. However, it never do us apart. We maintain 2 years of long distance relationship while learning to be more independent. We became near again when I decided to work in his hometown, and then moved to Singapore together after one and a half year, though we couldn't meet each other everyday like the good old days. Another 1 year had passed, and on that particular date, we stood still in front of God and made our vows. All those years have made us grow into a better person for each other. No more tons of messages, no more calls till late night, but to wake up every morning seeing each other side by side. Thank God for being with us through our ups and downs. God's plan is so great that He matches two different people with different personalities so one could be a complement to another. And so, two become one.

It has been almost two months since our wedding day. We were so stressed during the preparation. Not being in our hometowns, we couldn't do much. We could only depend on our family and friends. We felt even more stressed when we were back to our hometowns and the day was getting near. We went here and there for the final preparation. Finally, it was the day itself, we knew we couldn’t do much. We could only hand everything to God. Once again, we deeply felt His presence. We were so touched that He looked after us in each and every occasion. Before both our wedding receptions in Sandakan and KK, it was raining. We were a bit worried as it would be troublesome especially for me wearing the long gown. Just right before the dinner, the rain stopped. As Danny is a big sweater, he didn’t sweat much in the whole wedding process even in the morning. It was cloudy that morning. Praise the Lord. Everything went smoothly.

Something happened on the morning of the day we flew to KK after the Sandakan wedding reception. Mom and a few relatives and friends were flying with us. As our seats were separated, we waited for mom right after we came out from the plane and was wondering what took her so long. After almost everyone in the plane had came out, I felt strange and thought of turning back to the plane to look for her. And then I saw her running out from the plane with an anxious face and told me that someone took her luggage. It was cabin luggage. When everyone was pushing and rushing to take their own luggages, mom had no choice but to wait for everyone to clear out the aisle before she could stand up and take her luggage. She found nothing but another luggage with the same colour which was placed right next to her luggage. Both luggages have the same colour but their designs are totally different. How could someone make such mistake? Unfortunately, both did not have any label or luggage tag. Well, thank God at least we knew it was not stealing. But we were still worried as there was some money inside, and most importantly was mom’s dresses. How do you ask a woman to calm down when she has nothing to wear on her daughter’s wedding the next day? I did not know how to calm her down. Dad, the person whom we all rely most was not there as he was on the way driving to KK. I never seen mom so anxious that I could feel her trembling hands. All I could do was just asked her to calm down and pray while Danny, sis and I running here and there to find help. We found a ground staff who could help us follow up. Sis tried to console mom and assured her that she would accompany her to find new dresses even if they had to find till midnight. I am thankful to have them around. At that moment, we could only wait for good news to come. In the afternoon, we called back and asked for updates. It was a surprise to us that the miss careless only noticed her mistake when she arrived Johor Bahru (JB). Yes, she transited through KK. How coincide! The staff told us that the luggage is on the flight coming back to KK. Mom got back her own luggage that evening. Everything remained intact. It was such a big relief to us. And again, thank God! Moral of the story: Do not place money inside your luggage even if it is a cabin luggage. Money must be with you all the time. Important stuff must go with you as well, probably the dresses if you think it is so important in this case. Haha. Another thing is remember to label your luggage with your contact details.

Once again, we were so grateful to those who attended our wedding in Sandakan and KK. We deeply appreciate those who travelled all the way from different places, whether by car or aeroplane, despite being so busy and committed to own personal or work life. Our heartfelt gratitude to those who helped out in the preparation and during the wedding, and also to those who couldn't attend our wedding but still sent us blessings. Our wedding would not have been so perfect without each and everyone of them. We really appreciate the help, support and kind blessings from them. There aren't enough words or ways to express how grateful we are to have all of them in our life.

Most importantly, we would like to give a big thanks to our own parents. They are always there for us whenever we need help and advice. They ran here and there for us throughout the wedding process. Dad always said, “Not to worry, I'm here.” We were so blessed. Our whole wedding process would be impossible without them. And of course, without God, everything will be impossible. Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NIV) says “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Indeed, God's grace upon us is so much more than what we expect. Thank you, God!

越走越远。。。

真没想到我踏入了一个不熟惜的环境开始生活。一个离家乡更远的地方。朋友都说我越走越远。在 kk 生活了一年半，又要说再见，感觉心情好复杂。好不容易才慢慢适应了那里的环境。好不容易才开始跟朋友熟，我就要离开了。很不舍得。唯一让我遗憾的是来不及跟他们更加熟。

感谢神在过去的一年半都不断的赐福给我和我家人。神的计划真的很奇妙。过去的一年半祂让我留在 kk 陪伴父母面对妈妈的不幸。现在终于告一段落，祂就让我在事业上有更进一步的发展。我和奇决定来新加坡工作。由于他先找到工作，我就变得很紧张。毕竟 kk 不是我的家乡。我习惯依赖的那个人又要比我早离开，我担心自己不知道该如何过那段日子。感谢主过不久我就找到工作了。只是比他迟两个月过来新加坡。在最后的那两个月，第一个月过得好无聊，时间多了好多，不知道该做些什么。但是到了第二个月，时间却过得很充实，视乎有个不想离开的感觉。

走的前一天在 kk 收拾行李的时候，我跟爸妈说，“还好有你们在这里帮我收拾，不然我都不知道该怎么塞我的东西进行李。” 我妈回答我说，“当然，样样都为妳预备好了。” 是真的。神样样都为我预备好了。祂安排我在新加坡找到一份工作，一个住的地方。祂为我安排离开 kk 之前，奇刚好为家事而回来，就能顺便帮我驾我的车回山打根。祂为我安排我走的前几天，我父母会去 kk 复诊。我就能陪他们复诊，同时他们也能帮我收拾行李。

在 kk 那段期间真的要感谢神的看顾与保守，感谢主放了这么多天使在我身边，尤其是奇和他家人。感谢他们的照顾以及关怀。

感谢教会租这房子给我，让我在这里生活了一年半。刚搬进去还有搬走的照片。我会想念这里的。

感谢我的屋友和她家人的照顾，也经常煮饭给我吃。

感谢青年们还有羽球队，让我在 kk 有个美好的回忆。

感谢我堂妹有时陪我玩煮饭仔。

感谢这位傻婆，时常让我不得不在她面前傻。

  

感谢 ZzZ，不断地在我生命中留下更多的色彩。

感谢同事们的指教与照顾。最后也要感谢所有我这里没有提到但是又认识我，照顾我，帮助过我的人。

离开 kk 之前，妈说，“妳走之前我们一定要一起拍照，我发现我们很少两个人的照片。”结果就拍了这两张。xD

好了。说完了。又要继续适应这新的环境。相信神必定与我同在。

Amazing Grace

End of this month marks my one year of work life in KK. Time flies. Moments of farewell with friends in Sandakan are still clear in my mind as if it was yesterday. Since it’s been quite some time since my last post, let me just summarise all the ups and downs in one post. It’s going to be a long post, so be ready. 

Being here for one year, although I knew it’s not going to be easy, I never thought there are so much more than hard. I need more time than a normal person would need to blend in. Lots of things happened in this one year. One unexpected thing was mom’s misfortune. However, I have to salute her for her strength in facing it. She is the unfortunate one, yet she is much stronger than anyone of us. Her faith in God is so strong. Thank God. God is looking after us every now and then. He has planned everything. Yes, I mean everything! His amazing grace is more than anything we could ever imagine. And how do we get this? Thank God it’s free! Just believe Him, that’s all.

We won’t realise all these until we look back one day and couldn’t stop thanking God about it. I feel like I was planned to come earlier to KK. After I settled down for like less than two months, the unexpected news came. Dad had to bring mom to KK hospital. It took them few weeks to discover the real problem. Mom had to move from one hospital to another. Due to her unusual case, she had been arranged to undergo operation without having to go through a long queue which is a common thing in government hospital. Her surgeon is one of the best doctors in Sabah, or Malaysia, I’m not really sure. She is a great person and she had gained prestige within the whole hospital. Thank God we’ve met her. In just around one and a half month, the operation was done successfully and mom will need to come back for treatment every month. Thank God treatment will end soon. During all these moments, God placed a lot of angels in our life. My aunt who stays in KK cooked almost every day for mom and dad. Sis was married the previous year and due to this, we’ve got new relatives who also stay in KK. This family sometimes cooked breakfast for mom and even lend his car to dad. Dad’s friend opened up one of his room for them to stay whenever they come back for treatment and that place is nearer to hospital which is really convenient. There were many other people who visited us, encouraged us, helped us and prayed for us. Thank God for all these angels in our life.

Coming to KK, it also means getting used to the work life with the plus-one. Things was not as easy as I thought. Any issue could possibly end up in an argument. We are still trying to get used to this life. Anyway, things are getting better now. I believe God will continue to lead our way.

Enough of stressful stories, let’s talk about happy moments. I had went to several trips last year. One of them was when 4 folks from Kuching came to visit me in KK. We went around KK and Kundasang. This triple trip was a short trip but we did enjoyed a lot, especially having steamboat at Kundasang.

Another trip was going to Taiwan. Till now, I still couldn’t believe I’d actually went to Taiwan. My same-mind-friend and I had been talking about it ever since we booked our tickets a year before the trip. The best thing of travelling with friends is when everyone has the same objective. We had lots of fun and learnt a lot of new things during the trip. Thank God everything went according to plan. It was really an unforgettable trip.

Next, it was the short Star Cruise trip with the plus-one celebrating our 5 years anniversary. Thank God for looking after us for the past 5 years. May God continue to bless us in everything we do, give us wisdom in facing any obstacles in our relationship. 

 

The last trip was road trip to Brunei and Miri with the plus-one’s family. Celebrated Christmas and birthday there.

 

During Chinese New Year, I went back to Sandakan for a week and had wonderful moments with family, relatives and friends. It is always the best to be home after being stressed out working and staying away from home for some time. It is a place where everyone understands you and cares for you. In addition, we have a new member this Chinese New Year, my little niece. She is so cute and adorable. Love her so much. Thank God for placing her in our family. May she grows healthily and happily in the arms of God.

Oh yea. Before I forget, I couldn’t left out this amazing day. It was last week when Danny and I went to Suria for a movie. The time when we were queueing up to buy tickets, there was a girl in front of us, she had reached the ticket counter, and then all of a sudden, she turned back and gave us a voucher which can be used for a free movie for one person. We was stunned, and we just thanked her. When we reached the counter, we asked the receptionist on how to get that voucher. She told us that the voucher is for sale where people buy and use it as a gift. We wonder why that girl didn’t use it but gave us instead. And so, we bought 2 tickets but paid for one person. Before the movie started, we planned to buy Yoyo. Danny went to the bank while I went to Yoyo alone. I ordered and paid for two drinks. After I got my drinks, I tried to check if it’s correct. Suddenly, one of my drinks dropped on the floor, the whole plastic cup burst. The drink was all over the floor. Feeling helpless, I queued up again planning to buy another cup. After a while, the Yoyo girl handed me another cup with the drink I ordered without needing to pay. I was stunned again and thanked her. It was an amazing day with amazing grace from God. 

So that’s conclude my one year summary. Thank you for your patience in reading this post.